I Don't Have Special Needs, You're Just Ignoring Your Own

Colonial concepts of 'normal' and 'abnormal' needs keep us all from having our need met.

My ‘special needs’ child. It gives me the ick when I read things like this.

This term has largely fallen out of use - but I still see it much more than I should. It has also evolved into ‘special educational needs’, a term inclusive of ‘learning problems and Disability’, and used to assess the support needs of children in schools.

Do I have a problem with assessing the support needs of children? No. I have a problem with the concept of some needs being special, and some being normal. Humans have needs, and different humans have different needs.

In that school, where some children are being assessed for ‘special educational needs’, others are being:

-Excluded for being Black and exhibiting the same behaviour as white children who are receiving support

-Ignored for being South Asian and exhibiting the same behaviour as white children who are receiving support

-Scolded into neuro-performing because they were assigned female at birth

-Misdiagnosed, underdiagnosed and traumatised through attempts to modify behaviour without understanding its cause

Which children are really getting their needs met at school?

Which adults are really getting their needs met in life?

We have a dysfunctional relationship with recognising, honouring and advocating for our needs. Having needs is stigmatised, just think about how often the word ‘needy’ is used as a criticism and a reason to reject someone. The whole idea of humans needing other humans has been vilified. Why? Because community, human connection, supporting each other collectively, is the antithesis of the individualism and extractive nature of our current reality. The reality that could not survive if we were to tap into the power of those things.

We have been taught that there is a correct set of human needs, and that these needs operate within fixed parameters which do not change. If you fall outside of these, there are consequences. You are either a person with a character defect who must be punished, or you have special needs that require extra time, support and resources that may or may not be extended to you. It should be noted that the darker your skin, the more likely the same mindbody features will land you in the former category rather than the latter.

There is a particular obsession with assessing needs when it comes to learning. How quickly, how well can this child learn all the things we are trying to cram into them? And if they don’t or can’t, how can they grow up to be adults that feed our capitalist system that bases human value on how much can be extracted from them?

‘Special needs’ children show us that our reality is based on the wrong things. That child needs support, community and opportunities to take part and show up in the ways that align with their mindbody. The fact they can't show up and take part without intervention shows that the environment and expectations, for all of us, are wrong.

By making certain needs ‘special’, we are putting limits on what human needs are and saying they don't or can't change. We are ensuring that we will never have a world where everyone gets the majority of their needs met.

Am I saying we shouldn’t fight for Disability rights and support needs? No. The fight for liberation has many layers, we must continue to make changes that improve the daily lives of Disabled people while also reimagining a new reality. I am asking that we stop categorising needs in relation to the concept of ‘normal’, because it reinforces the system that is oppressing us in the first place.

To build a solution, we need to first reckon with the fact that under colonialism, capitalism and white supremacy, none of us are actually getting our needs met. We are not even being taught to recognise what our needs are.

Who really needs to think about what their needs are and whether they are being met?

All of us. Every single one of us. We need to cultivate a rich and intimate relationship with our needs: as individuals, as a collective, as a planet, and then build the reality that meets them.

--AJ

Today’s Neuro-Embodiment Prompts:

Suggestions and questions to help you engage with mindbody decolonisation:

• How acquainted are you with your own needs? Try writing down ten of your needs. Now try twenty. Thirty. Get specific. Get clear. Categorise them- by environment, by physical, emotional, mental, by anything that makes sense to you. There are no limitations, get to know what your mindbody is asking for.

• What needs do you consider ‘normal’? What needs do you consider ‘special’ or ‘abnormal’? How can you challenge these beliefs? How can you normalise all human needs? What kind of environments and infrastructure would be needed to support the majority of human needs as standard? How can these needs be balanced with the needs of our communities? Our planet? What can you do to move us towards this reality?